


After All This Time

by Merixcil



Series: Tumblr Fics [71]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Big Talk, Gen, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:09:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23892124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merixcil/pseuds/Merixcil
Summary: Chankyun exorcises a few of his demons left over from No Mercy
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M & Song Gunhee | #GUN
Series: Tumblr Fics [71]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759627
Kudos: 4





	After All This Time

It’s not uncommon for ex-trainees to come flitting through the dorm. The reality of the trainee system sees friendships forged in fire and brimstone, leaving so little room for anything else that even year-old feuds are set aside in a heartbeat when someone’s in need of a friend. Hyunwoo’s friendship with the boys from GOT7 is just the tip of the iceberg, there’s not one of them that doesn’t have contacts in far off places. Sometimes they get to catch up at music shows and big concerts, sometimes they have to come crawling in through the back door. 

Changkyun has friends from his trainee days, the same as the rest of the group, but it’s different for him. The other six members of Monsta X all know each other’s people, regardless of how close they might be to them. Coming up together through the same company has given them time to adapt to familiar faces, first met under contracts long null and void. Changkyun showed up at the eleventh hour, and his group mates never had time to adjust to his friends in the same manner. 

That whole last minute switch out thing still bums him out from time to time. He’s more or less dealt with it, he can’t pretend he ever found it in himself to be truly sorry that he was the one chosen for the final lineup for Monsta X. But sometimes he comes into the kitchen to find Jooheon and Gunhee laughing together, entwined in each other’s personal space and so perfectly matched that it hurts. He can’t help but feel a little bit bad for breaking that up. 

Gunhee is universally popular, it would seem. Their tutors have fond memories, the people in the marketing department can’t help but smile when his name is brought up, and the rest of the group well and truly lose their shit whenever he comes to visit. Every time, without fail, when Song Gunhee crosses their threshold, he is greeted with a chorus of cheers and pulled into half a dozen hugs. And that’s not just coming from Jooheon. 

But Changkyun doesn’t know him like that. As far as he’s aware, Gunhee still views him as the spanner that got thrown in the workings of his life and it’s difficult to blame him. So Changkyun hangs back, offers polite smiles and makes the tea. The others have catching up to do, and he’s always going to be a little outside their friendship circles. 

Which is probably why he feels so awkward, standing in the way of the dorm’s open door, looking at Gunhee. He would go and alert the others that the prodigal son is back once again but everyone else is out. 

“Hi!” Gunhee grins at him. He looks exactly as pleased to be here as he always does, which Changkyun has to assume is because he has no idea that he’s come at a bad time. 

“Hi,” Changkyun responds. Still standing in the doorway, gormless. “Um, everyone else is out.”

Gunhee nods, “you gonna let me in?”

He’s still smiling. He doesn’t look or sound disappointed, and Changkyun knows that disappointment is possible for Gunhee. It’s rare, but he saw Show Me The Money the same as everyone else. 

For a long moment, Changkyun debates just telling Gunhee to come back later. It sounds a whole lot easier than trying to make small talk until the others get back. God, he can’t even remember where they are. Hyunwoo and Hoseok said something about the gym and he’s pretty sure Minhyuk had to go to the dermatologist, but otherwise they could be anywhere. 

He stands aside. Gunhee passes and starts removing his shoes. Changkyun watches him, unsure what to say, before he remembers his usual roll in these proceedings. 

“You want some tea?”

“That would be great,” Gunhee beams, wrestling his feet free and following Changkyun to the kitchen. 

He still knows where they keep everything - he’s never away long enough not to catch up when someone decides the kitchen layout needs to be mixed up a little. Changkyun doesn’t have to do anything more than boil the kettle and stand back as Gunhee dives into the boxes of herbal teas that he, Hoseok and Kihyun are so fond of. 

When Gunhee finds what he’s looking for, his head snaps up, grinning triumphant, “raspberry leaf and vanilla!” 

It sounds horrible to Changkyun, who fishes himself out a bag of green tea for his own mug. The trouble is that once the kettle has boiled there’s little else to fill the space with but the smell of raspberry scented chemicals wafting through the air. 

“So,” Gunhee starts, “how’ve you been?”

“Fine.” Changkyun replies. He can’t think of anything else to say. They’ve been preparing for a comeback, he’s pretty sure his left ankle is gonna shatter into it’s component atoms is he sprains it one more time, he’s about ready to strangle Hyungwon in his sleep if he doesn’t stop snoring. Lee Changkyun is a man of few words at the best of times, he might be able to string the mundane details of his life into a proper conversation with one of his friends, but he has nothing worth telling Gunhee about. “You?”

“Oh you know, keeping busy. Been working on some new music but to be honest with you, the beats I’ve got are pretty lame. I wanna be able to put some stuff out this year but I’m gonna need a better producer if I want to be proud of it. I don’t really wanna just go and put out another mixtape for lack of good beats either, you know? Man I tell you what, you don’t know how good you have it as a trainee until you have to hack it by yourself.”

Changkyun nods along, not really sure if he’s supposed to be contributing to the conversation but unable to see an opening that might accommodate him. Gunhee has a disarmingly intense stare, latching hold of his attention and reeling him in, past talk of music and contracts and into the depths of home ownership and rental apartments. After the first five minutes, he’s more or less got the hang of interjecting encouraging noises where necessary. In the next fifteen, he learns how to point out where something similar has happened to him, though not at the expense of Gunhee’s tumble of sentences. 

Having finished regaling Changkyun with the story of a pigeon stuck in his walls that the landlord mistook for a rat, Gunhee tips back his head and laughs. Changkyun manages a sympathetic chuckle as he waits for the verbal barrage to continue, but to his horror, Gunhee appears to have finally shut up. 

Silence comes roaring in to occupy the space so recently vacated by Gunhee’s voice, and Changkyun’s stomach twists uncomfortably. They’re still standing in the kitchen, their tea long drunk and the others aren’t back yet. He doesn’t have anything to say to fill the gap, can only stare helplessly at Gunhee, silently begging him not to make this awkward. 

One second of silence becomes ten, and by then it’s definitely awkward. This would probably be the time to imply that Gunhee should leave, ushering him out of the door for lack of any words whatsoever. Changkyun’s chewing over just how to phrase it, when Gunhee goes and says something that takes them from awkward to extremely uncomfortable. 

“You know back with the No Mercy…”

Changkyun’s stomach plummets. Of course that was what Gunhee was waiting for. They’ve never properly had it out about what happened back then, how Changkyun had been brought in at the last minute and taken a spot that was so clearly not meant for him. Part of him knows that it’s high time they got this over with and moved on with their lives but mostly he just wants to forget it. They can pretend they don’t know each other, or that the other is invisible or something, whatever’s easiest. But he doesn’t really want to have this conversation. 

Squaring his shoulders slightly, and standing up a little straighter, Changkyun nods for Gunhee to continue. He can feel his heart throbbing against the inside of his cranium. 

Gunhee’s expression has darkened to something markedly more serious than his typically unshakable grin. “It was a real dick move what they did, Bringing you in like that.”

Changkyun’s blood is thrumming in his ears. He still can’t think of anything to say. 

“So I just wanted to know like…are we cool?”

Changkyun blinks. He is distantly aware that Gunhee is offering him a hand to shake, that the corner of his mouth is shaking just a little, like he’s nervous. He can’t make head nor tail of it, “what?”

Gunhee breaks eye contact for a moment, hand still held out even as his shoulders start to slouch, “I mean, it couldn’t have been easy for you. I know we weren’t very nice when you first showed up and I know you’re good with the others now. But you and me never got to have it out like that and I don’t want you to think I don’t like you or something just because I was in a mood two years ago.”

It’s the single most bizarre thing Changkyun’s heard in his life. The notion that he would hold some kind of grudge in lieu of his own success is preposterous, and the idea that Gunhee has been operating under the impression that that might have been what was going on with him sets his guilt circuits into overdrive. 

“That’s really…what? That doesn’t make any sense.” Changkyun’s tongue feels uselessly maladapted to deal with this conversation. Gunhee shrinks a little further into himself and it’s all he can do to grab his hand before he withdraws it entirely, “of course I don’t hate you. I thought you hated me.”

Confusion flashes in Gunhee’s eyes like wildfire as he brings them back to meet Changkyun’s, “I hate the production team, and I kinda hate the board of directors for deciding bringing you in at the last minute was a good idea. But I don’t hate _you_ , Changkyun. I know it’s not your fault.”

“Oh,” is all Changkyun can think to say. His fingers tighten around Gunhee’s and they shake once, firm and fast, before their hands fall back to their sides and all the tension that was cramping his stomach falls away. 

This time there’s silence, but it doesn’t fester into awkwardness on impact. Gunhee’s smile is back in place, looking warmer and more permanent, if such a thing were possible. Changkyun has no idea where they’re supposed to go from here, but it feels like a very good start. 

“You wanna go watch TV?” Gunhee asks, voice bright. 

Changkyun does, he really really does. There’s so little downtime to be had once promotions start up and he’s desperate to enjoy the feeling of diminished time constraints while he has the chance. He nods and follows Gunhee back into the living room, not needing to say another word. 

**Author's Note:**

> *Hermione Granger voice* boys...
> 
> This work was originally posted as part of a multi chaptered 'tumblr prompts' fic that I'm trying to split up. If you think you've read it before, you probably have


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